Comfort - A HUGE Stumbling Block

[Kerul Kassel]

A NOTE FROM THE PROCRASTIVITY NICHEPERT

It was Halloween last Saturday, and the Christmas commercials on television have already started. I wondered if that was a new record for early Christmas TV advertising.

Well, one good strategy to avoid procrastination is to start with reminders early. Of course, if you ignore the reminders or take no action to make sure things happen, the reminders end up being little more than annoyances - that is, until they're late enough that they're catalysts for the cold sweat felt when a deadline is fast approaching.

How do you handle deadlines? Do you like the whooshing sound they make as they pass you by? Or do you find yourself in that cold sweat more often than you like?

It's your priorities that determine which outcome you get. And in my professional experience I have found that often people are not even aware of the priorities that are motivating their choices. Does a priority of productivity cost you in terms of relationship happiness? Or is it the reverse: a need to be liked results in not setting boundaries or making others accountable?

If this subject resonates for you, read the article below. You could win a free month of coaching (3 half-hour coaching sessions by phone) if you write and share your story with me [one response will be chosen - the deadline is 12pm noon Eastern Time on November 12, 2009].

Oh, before I forget, I'll be doing a book signing for both of my books, Stop Procrastinating Now and Productive Procrastination, in Orlando and the famous Urban Think bookstore on Saturday, December 5, 2009 from 2-4pm. If you're in the area I'd love to see you there. You might even win a copy of the books.

On another note, if your networking efforts aren't going well, try Blitz Time , a new service that offers a new way of networking - on the phone from the convenience of wherever you happen to be (in your PJs or sweats!), with no mediocre meal you're paying too much for, and no travel and traffic, to meet a bunch of small business owners looking to network with others. Check it out here.

For those of you following my doctoral studies pace, I have my doctoral committee together (except for the external reader), have submitted a first revision of my concept paper, and am waiting for comprehensive assessment feedback. What does that mean? I hope to have a draft of my dissertation proposal done by the end of the year (about 1 year and 8 months into the program). That's less than 2 months away!!! Yikes! Wanna know one of my motivators for getting through the program swiftly? The cost of tuition, which I divided by day, so every day I don't make a good effort I think of the money down the drain. It works as a good "hit man" for me (a reference from my book "Stop Procrastinating Now - more below).

I'd love to hear from you if you have any thoughts about personal development strategies that have worked for you. You might even be featured in an upcoming newsletter!

Finally, if you haven't yet gotten your copy of either of my books, remember they're available at both www.Procrastivity.com and www.Amazon.com.

Wishing you all optimal procrastivity, as always, and a fabulous November,
Kerul

Kerul Kassel, Author of Productive Procrastination - Make It Work For You, Not Against You and the award-winning Stop Procrastinating Now - Five Radical Procrastination Strategies To Set You Free, both available at www.Procrastivity.com


COMFORT - A HUGE STUMBLING BLOCK: IS IT YOUR *REAL* PRIORITY?

"Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are." J.W. Frick

I'd amend the second sentence of this quote to read "Show me where you spend your *time* and money and I'll tell you what they are."

We all hold certain values dear, and we make visible how we prioritize those values through our everyday actions, for better or worse. If what you say you want for yourself is very different from what you have, one reason could be that you're tripping over your priorities.

A common stumbling block I have found with my clients is that they don't realize how highly they prioritize comfort. I don't mean just physical comfort; the need for emotional and psychic comfort can be just as much a dream-killer.

Comfort isn't a bad thing in an of itself, certainly, but staying in one's comfort zone makes positive change very difficult. It can feel threatening when we evaluate our actions, reactions, and beliefs, and find they're not very effective, attractive, or realistic. Ouch!

Usually, we're completely unaware of the priorities that are driving us. A client of mine, Candace, wanted to be more organized and to better manage her schedule. At first Candace found it uncomfortable to play with new habits such as spending a few minutes in the morning planning her day and checking in with her calendar regularly throughout the day. She resisted by creating rationalizations for her way of doing things. After a discussion about the priority of comfort and how resistance and discomfort are always found just before breakthrough, Candace was able to begin to overcome them. She started experimenting with her techniques which took little time or effort but helped her be more effective and organized.

The comfort priority has a wide variety of masks and is behind many dissatisfactions: the student who is not staying current with his studies, business owner who is not creating or following a marketing plan to bring business in, the professional who is all work and no play, the solopreneur who insists on doing everything herself. Even though there's a degree of discomfort for each of these people in not having what they want (to be caught up on studies, to have business rolling in, to have a balanced lifestyle, to delegate or hire out responsibilities), there is greater discomfort in creating change than to stay the same.

Contemplating our new improved self - who we'll be once we master a bit of change - can also feel unpleasant. Will people close to us be angry that we've changed? What if we fail to keep up the positive change - do we deserve the label of loser? What if we make the effort but the change doesn't give us the results we hoped for? Oh yes, all these concerns rear their ugly little heads, but they are not red stop lights. They are amber caution lights, urging us to look around, to be aware of potholes, and to plan how we'll respond to them.

Be aware that going too far beyond the threshold of comfort can be counterproductive. The most effective learning is found in the slight to moderate discomfort zone, but learning and change become more difficult the farther away you get from your comfort threshold.

Experiment with small things first, just at the edge of the threshold. Remember that a breakthrough is just on the other side of discomfort.

Where are you a bit too comfortable, living in a sort of satin-lined coffin of discontent? Write and tell me about it. You may be chosen for a free month of coaching.

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

"Action expresses priorities." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." ~ H. L. Hunt

"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do." ~ Freya Stark